Falling Apart
by animefav
Summary: Everyone deserved to be selfish, even a king. Atoryo. Title may subject to change.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the Prince of tennis.

This is my first fan fiction. Hope it turns out ok. This would be a short fiction because I don't see myself capable of writing long ones.

Summary: Two years ago, the first year tennis prodigy from Seigaku, Echizen Ryoma, disappeared from the junior high tennis world. Nobody knows what happen to him or where he is. Two years later, he returns back to Seigaku, back into the regulars' lives just when they had moved on. What is going to happen now? Past is going to be revealed, personal boundaries would be crossed, hearts would be broken and the one question will be answered: Is it wrong to be selfish to be with the ones you loved.

'_Everyone deserved to be selfish, even a king'_

_Blurred faces. Blue. White. Tennis. Gray. Purple. A car. Tires shrieking. Movement. A push. Screams. Pain_

Eyes opened as I stared at the ceiling above me. The same images, random images that makes no sense yet seems so….familiar.

My name is Echizen Ryoma and I have amnesia. The first conscious memory I have of my life is waking up staring at the bare white ceiling of the hospital room. That was two years ago. Since then I have been living with Keigo in his mansion in France. I have no recollection of who I am or where I am from. All the little bits and pieces of my life were told to me by Keigo. Normally people will freak out not knowing their past but I am ok with not knowing because there is never a dull moment living with Keigo. We would have arguments and trust me that happen almost everyday and it is pure satisfaction seeing Keigo gapping like a goldfish over some comment I said. I would gladly live this kind of life if it won't for these images that plague my dreams. These images has been happening a lot recently and I can't help wondering if they were not just images but memories of a past that I have buried deep within me. Switching on the side lamp, I started to pen a letter to Keigo about the decision I made a while ago. By the time it reaches him in America I would have already been enrolled into Seigaku. Please forgive me Keigo.

_**1 week later in America**_

_By the time you read this letter I would be in Japan. I know you specifically told me to never go to Seigaku but I can't help it. I need to know, I want to know. Forgive me Keigo….._

The glass I held in my hand fell and shattered as I read the letter Ryoma send me. I was in shock. I felt myself shaking as I wrapped my arms around me. Why Ryoma? Why now? Why can't you leave your past alone? When you do recall everything what will happen to you? Will the you that I came to love disappear? Would the smile that I loved be replaced by a smirk once again? "Oh god I can't lose you…not now" I mumbled as tears fell down in streams. I ignored the concerned hands of my maids trying to pry me from my kneeling position. Everything hurts, everything is breaking apart, the perfect life I have constructed with you is breaking apart this very moment and I can't do anything to prevent it. "Don't leave me, Ryoma…" I whispered as I slowly slipped into my dream world.

A/N: It did not turn out like I planned but I am happy with it. There might be a lot of grammatical mistakes so please bear with it. This is an idea that came to me one day and frankly I have no idea where it will lead because I did not have anything planned out yet. But do review and tell me whether you like it or not. : )


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own the Prince of tennis.

This is my first fan fiction. Hope it turns out ok. This would be a short fiction because I don't see myself capable of writing long ones.

Thanks for all the reviews. I really appreciate them a lot : ).

Summary: Two years ago, the first year tennis prodigy from Seigaku, Echizen Ryoma, disappeared from the junior high tennis world. Nobody knew what happened to him or where he was. Two years later, he returned back to Seigaku, back into the regulars' lives just when they had moved on. What is going to happen now? Past would be revealed, personal boundaries would be crossed, hearts would be broken and the one question will be answered: Is it wrong to be selfish to be with the ones you loved.

It would mostly be in Echizen or Atobe POV unless I state so.

'_Everyone deserved to be selfish, even a king'_

'So this is Seigaku', I thought as I stared at the building before me, 'the sister school of the one I was in'.

With its towering levels and off white paint, Seigaku High looked like all the other schools in the vicinity. A far cry from the private school I had attended just last week. "What am I getting myself into?' I mumbled as I walked into the campus.

"Class, we have a new student today, his name is Echizen Ryoma so please make him feel welcome". With that I found myself the subject of attention of twenty pairs of eyes.

Composing myself, I pasted a smile on my face and bowed. Instantaneously, sounds of books dropping and gasps could be heard throughout the room. I lifted my head and was shocked to find almost half the class with eyes wide and mouths big enough to fit a tennis ball. "What is going on?' I mumbled as I wearily made my way to my seat.

_"Have you heard, Echizen Ryoma is back."_

_"No way."_

_"It is true I saw him just now."_

_"How dare he return after leaving without a word two years ago."_

_"Shhh, he might hear you."_

_"By the way, he seems different…….."_

The conversation of those 2 boys became fainter as they moved away from the spot I was hiding. That was one of the few conversations I heard since lunch break began and my heart sank as I repeated those words in my mind.

"Left without a word, I would never do that, would I?" I felt tears collecting in my sockets, waiting for the moment to fall, as I curled into a sitting position with my head buried between my knees. 'I can't stand this anymore; just what kind of person was I?'

_**(Momoshiro POV)**_

I was walking down the hallways to the classroom of the 'freshman trio' when I heard it. Faint cries coming from the empty room next to me. Normally I would not be scared of this kind of stuff but Inui sempai had to bring up the story of the cursed tennis ball to test our nerves.

"Come on, Momoshiro, now that we are in broad daylight, what are you afraid of?" I mumbled as I tried to calm my pacing heart. Saying a silent prayer to kami sama, I gingerly moved towards the sound. With shaking hands, I pushed open the door and closed my eyes, expecting some spirit haunting the classroom to attack me.

When that did not happen I opened my eyes and saw a figure in a fetal position near the teacher's desk. The person whom I presumed to be a boy (but I can't be sure for he looked feminine, but then again so does Fuji sempai) had his head between his knees. He was trembling and muffled cries could be heard.

"Hey, what is wrong?" I asked quietly as I moved towards his position in the room. He tensed and lifted his head. Time momentarily stopped as I stared at the face before me. Black hair with a tinge of green, golden eyes that seemed to stare right into your soul. It was a face that I would never forget.

"Echizen"

**_(Ryoma POV)_**

"Echizen"

By this time, I would not be surprised that a stranger like the one before me knew my name. Practically half the year one cohort knew  
about me and that was scary. 'Am I some kind of famous person?' I tried searching my mind for any information that could help me explain this but it turned out blank, like it was yesterday and two years ago.

I stared at the figure before me. He had black spiky hair and violet eyes and was too tall to be a first year. His expression could rival that of Keigo when I came home one night covered head to toe with chocolate sauce and that brought a slight smile to my face. But what happened next was beyond my expectations, I found myself pulled into a hug by this person, tears dampening the material of my shirt.

_Why did this felt familiar?_

_**Same time in America**_

I looked at the dark clouds gathering in the night sky. My butler's words echo through my mind.

"_You have kept him for so long, isn't it time to return him back to the ones who loved him?" _

I shifted my focus to the picture in my hand. It was a picture of Ryoma and me, taken six months after the accident. With my finger, I traced the outlines of his face.

_Flashback starts_

"_Keigo"_

"_Yes, Ryoma", I said as I pushed strands of hair away from his face _

"_Would we be like this forever?"_

_My hands stopped midway as I processed his words_

'_Would we? Would you want to be together when you do remember?'_

_Sensing a change in my mood. He sat up from his position on my lap and turned to face me. ._

_With the cutest pout I have ever seen, he said, "What is wrong. Keigo? Don't you want to be like this forever?"_

_I put on a fake smile and pulled him into a hug_

"_You are so cute. I do, more than anything. I am just shocked that is all"_

"_Silly Keigo," he mumbled from his position in my shoulders, hiding a blush, "we will be together forever, I promised."_

_With that we sealed our fate_

_Flashback ends_

"Atobe bocchama, Atobe bocchama, we have arrived"

I was pulled back to reality by the words of my chauffeur before me.

I pocketed the picture and walked toward the ride that would bring me closer to my love and the past I was trying to hide from him.

_I am coming, Ryoma_

A/N: This concludes the second part of my story. There are not a lot of developments in this chapter. Do expect tears in the future parts. Once again do pardon my mistakes (I do not have a beta reader nor a word processor or whatever it is called) and I apologize if the whole piece still looks cramped because I am in the process of figuring out the format. The future parts might take a while for I have to get my act together and come up with a plot!

Someone did request a possible love triangle in this fiction. Would you want one in it? If do, with who? Please send me reviews. : )


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own the Prince of tennis.

This is my first fan fiction. Hope it turns out ok. This would be a short fiction because I don't see myself capable of writing long ones.

Thanks for all the reviews. I really appreciate them a lot : ).

Summary: Two years ago, the first year tennis prodigy from Seigaku, Echizen Ryoma, disappeared from the junior high tennis world. Nobody knew what happened to him or where he was. Two years later, he returned back to Seigaku, back into the regulars' lives just when they had moved on. What is going to happen now? Past would be revealed, personal boundaries would be crossed, hearts would be broken and the one question will be answered: Is it wrong to be selfish to be with the ones you loved.

Special thanks to **Sweet Obsidian Rain **for being the beta editor of this story.

'_Everyone deserved to be selfish, even a king'_

"Echizen!"

I cringed from the sound. Momo-senpai sure is loud. I saw him approaching and gave a sigh. How did it come to this?

_Flashback begins _

"_Momo-senpai?"_

"_Yes, Echizen?" He asked as he munched on his third melon bread._

"_Since you knew about me, could you tell me what kind of person I was? I don't remember…" I whispered._

_He looked at me strangely until realization that I had amnesia dawned on him._

_He placed his half-eaten burger aside and took a deep breath, and I eagerly awaited the revelation of my past._

"_You were a brat."_

_I felt an arrow shot through my heart. Ouch._

"_You were insensitive."_

"_You were arrogant."_

"_You always refused to pay when we went out for burgers."_

"_You did not once treat me like a senpai."_

"_You…"_

"_Enough, I get it!" I yelled. My hands were covering my ears, refusing to hear anymore. "Was I that horrible of a person?" I felt tears coming, "No wonder those boys said all those stuff about me, it was true." _

_I sniffed._

_Then I felt a pair of hands remove mine from their position over my ears._

_I looked up and stared at Momo-senpai who had a smile on his face. "But you were the best friend I ever had."_

_I smiled._

_Flashback ends_

"Yo Echizen, stop zoning out or else you will knock into someone!"

I snapped out of the thoughts and found myself dragged towards the direction of the courts.

"Where are we going?" I asked, ignoring the weird looks thrown our way.

"We are going to meet the rest of the team." He grinned.

I gulped.

(Fuji's POV)

All the regulars were at the courts, waiting impatiently for Momo to arrive so that we could start practice. Tezuka was being himself, stoic as ever, but I could tell from his eyes that he was frustrated. Who knew how many laps he would assign Momo when he arrived?

I chuckled; I held his hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. He turned his attention towards me, and I could tell a question was coming when our attention was broken by Eiji's cries.

"Momo! You're late! Hurry!"

From a distance, I could see Momo dragging someone. It was only when they were closer did I get a good look at that person.

My heart sank.

It was Echizen.

_He returned._

Immediately, I felt Tezuka's hand left mine and saw him approach the two new arrivals at a speed that I did not know he was capable of.

At that moment, I heard something break.

Placing my palm on my chest, I realized what was broken.

It was my heart.

To the side I saw Oishi looking at me, worry was evident on his face. He was the only one who knew of our relationship. If there had been a relationship to begin with. I put my mask back on and mouthed to him with a sad smile that everything was ok.

_Who am I to protest?_

_I am only a substitute_.

(Ryoma's POV)

"Echizen."

I looked away from the two senpai-tachi quarreling, and focused on the senpai with crisp brown hair and hazel eyes standing next to me. He was impassive, but emotions were swirling in the depths of his eyes.

_Fear, Disbelief, Relief, Regret, Happiness, Love_

_Love for whom?_

'_How is it that I could read his emotions?'_

Like what every kouhai did when they met a senpai for the first time, I bowed.

"It is nice to meet you, senpai."

All the commotion in the background stopped and silence ensued, just like it was this morning.

I looked up from my position, afraid that I had somehow angered the senpai when I saw a frown forming on his face.

"What is going on?"

I relayed the whole story to them. From the time I woke up in the hospital to when I enrolled into Seigaku, leaving out all the intimate moments I spent with Keigo.

After my explanation, silence reigned throughout the courts.

I fidgeted.

"Keigo?" The red-haired senpai who insisted on me to call him "Eiji-senpai" broke the silence.

"Atobe," Tezuka-senpai replied coldly.

'_What is it with that tone?'_

"Did you all know Keigo?" I asked curiously. Keigo never mentioned them before.

"Of course we know him, since middle school," Momo-senpai said, bailing his fists, "He knew where you were yet he did not inform us. Wait till I get my hands on him, I will…"

"Don't hurt him!"

Everyone turned towards me. Even the senpai whose eyes were closed had his eyes opened and was staring at me with intensity.

I covered my mouth, shocked at my sudden outburst.

"Please don't hurt him," I repeated, "Keigo must have a reason for not telling you about me." I said, unsure.

Satisfied, all the regulars left me to have some time to myself. Tezuka-sempai was the only one left; he had an unreadable expression. I smiled at him and went to the sidelines to view the practice.

'_Keigo, why did you hide this from me?'_

(Atobe's POV)

_**At the same time on the plane **_

I stared out of the window. It was raining heavily and lighting accompanied by thunder could be seen from a distance. Just like that time.

_Flashback begins_

_Rain pattered on the window panes, and the wind rustled the leaves as it blew. I stared at my reflection on the window glass. Red puffy eyes, dark circles, tousled hair, cracked lips, another day of sleepless night._

"_Atobe, why are you still awake?"_

_I turned towards the direction of his voice near the entrance of the room. At that moment, lighting flashed and I caught sight of him in his pajamas, rubbing the sleep off his eyes. So cute. As quickly as it came, it ended, and the whole room was once again shrouded in darkness._

"_Why did you not turn on the lights?"_

_I heard him approach the light switch and moved. Before he could reach the switch, I intersected and grabbed his wrist, pulling him away from the switch towards the window. _

_I let my hand fall to the side and turned away from him. _

"_Nothing, go to sleep brat."_

_I had expected him to retort back and walk away like he used to before the accident._

_Instead, two hands circled around me and I felt him press his forehead to my back._

"_Don't call me brat," he whispered, his voice sending vibrations through my whole body, "you know I don't like that."_

_I was sure a pout was forming on his face. _

"_Why are you crying?" He asked._

"_I am not," I denied._

"_Liar."_

_I broke away from the embrace and turned around to face him, about to give him a piece of my mind when I saw the sad smile on his face. All thoughts left me._

_Using his slender finger, he traced the path where tears trailed down my cheeks. _

"_These are tear marks."_

"_Way of stating the obvious," I snapped, knocking his hand away. I retreated to the dark corners of the room. I did not want him to see me so weak and vulnerable. _

"_Don't fake it." _

_His words stopped me from my tracks._

_I found myself pulled into a hug._

"_I care for you; please tell me what is wrong."_

_With that being the last straw, I fell to my knees. Floodgates opened and the barriers I had built up over the years crumbled. _

_I poured my heart out to him. How fake I was, acting arrogant, so that nobody would know how lonely I was. I told him how I craved attention because my parents were too busy to spare me any. _

_I dug my nails into his arms, desperation seeping through every word I said. I didn't care. I wanted him to understand. _

_He showed no signs of pain or anger; he just kneeled before me, combing my hair with his digits and listening to me pouring out incidents followed by incidents._

_By the time my breakdown ended, my throat was hurting from all the yelling and crying and my eyelids were heavy. I just want to sleep and forget that all this happened. He shifted so that my head was lying on his lap. _

_Before I drift off to sleep, I heard him say, "I will always be here for you," he paused, "I love you."_

_A lone tear escaped from my eyes as I finally succumbed to tiredness. _

_The feelings are mutual, Ryoma_

_Flashback ends_

I smiled at that memory. That marked the start of our relationship. The Ryoma that I was with was poles apart from the one that everyone knew of.

_I don't want him to disappear._

Two hours until I reach Japan.

_I pray I am not too late._

A/N: Do you think this story is a bit rushed? Thanks for reading. Any reviews would be greatly appreciated.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own the Prince of tennis.

Thanks for all the reviews. I really appreciate them a lot : ).

Special thanks to **Sweet Obsidian Rain **for beta-ing this story. Without her help…well it would have been "dog chewing" material.

* * *

'_Everyone deserved to be selfish, even a king.'_

* * *

Tapping my feet impatiently on the ground, I glanced at my watch for the umpteenth time. 3:00 PM. School should have ended by now.

'_Where is he?'_

"Stop dragging me, Momo-senpai!"

I shifted my attention to the school gates and saw Momoshiro dragging Ryoma out of the school by the hand. He was struggling to keep up with the older boy's pace, stumbling a few times along the way. Pushing myself off the side of the limo, I walked briskly towards the duo.

"Not enough time, Echizen," Momoshiro turned towards Ryoma, "I have to show you the places we used to go frequently when -"

"Keigo!" Ryoma interrupted, staring at me, wide-eyed, like a deer caught in the headlights.

Momoshiro turned towards the direction where Ryoma was staring at, and immediately, the smile on his face was replaced with a glare. He shoved Ryoma behind him, placing distance between us.

I frowned.

"I want to talk with Ryoma."

"No, Atobe-san." He narrowed his eyes, observing me closely like a hawk. Even though his tone was polite, there was a hint of coldness in it, something that I'd never thought Momoshiro was capable of.

"I would like to talk to Ryoma, now," I repeated, moving closer to the two. With hands outstretched, I tried to take Ryoma's hand. But before I could do so, another intersected mine; I traced my attention from the hand on my wrist to the Seigaku uniform to the crisp brown hair and hazel brown eyes that were staring straight at me.

"Tezuka."

"Momoshiro," Tezuka broke eye contact and turned to address the other boy, "Take Echizen to whatever place you are going," he paused and looked back at me, "I have matters to discuss with Atobe." He tightened his grip on my wrist; pain spread throughout my arm.

"Yes, Captain." From the corner of my eye, I could see Momoshiro trying to pull an unwilling Ryoma away. He looked unsure, almost fearful. If it had not been for the hold on me, I would have pulled him into my arms this instance.

* * *

After making sure that they were out of earshot, I pried my wrist free from Tezuka's grip and backed away from him, placing distance between us.

"What do you want, Tezuka?" I asked coldly.

"Follow me," he ordered, turning back to walk into the school grounds. I stood rooted to the spot, refusing to listen to his orders.

"Now," he growled, turning back to stare at me with stern eyes. Giving in with a sigh, I moved to follow, dreading what was to come.

He brought me to a secluded part of the school, and without warning, grabbed a handful of my shirt and slammed me into a wall. My back collided painfully against the wall. Out of reflex, I closed my eyes, and choked back a cry. After the pain had dispersed, I opened my eyes slowly, and was shocked to find myself staring into the face of a fuming Tezuka.

'_I didn't think he was capable of any other expressions except for a poker face.' _

Another round of pain coursed through my body as he proceeded to slam me to the wall.

"Why are you here, Atobe!?" he hollered.

Placing my palms on the wall behind me, I tried to calm my irregular heartbeat.

"I am here… to take Ryoma home," I answered between breaths, hands slowly moving over his to remove them from my shirt.

"Home?" he repeated, "To where? What home?"

"You don't need to know," I retorted, fingers forcing between the cracks of his curled fist, trying to loosen his grip, "let me go!"

"What happened to him?" He questioned, shaking me vehemently, "How did he lose his memory?"

_A flash of blue and white and a body was pushed away from the path of the oncoming vehicle._

_The person landed painfully on his side. Tires screeched and people screamed. The impact of a body colliding with a hard object reached his ears._

_He turned his head slowly towards the place he was previously at._

_A prone figure lied meters away from the vehicle with a cracked windshield. Blood trickled down the side of the young boy's forehead, a pool of blood gradually formed at his side._

_Gray eyes widened._

"_Echizen!"_

"It was an accident."

"An accident?"

"He was knocked down by a car."

"Then why haven't you contacted us all these years?"

I closed my eyes.

"_You have kept him for so long, isn't it time to return him back to the ones who loved him?"_

_Silence._

"_Atobe-bocchama?"_

"_Robert." The boy in question shifted his gaze from the book in his hands to the man beside him. The man was standing in an upright posture with an object akin to a towel hanging from his arms. His face was framed with twirls of gray hair mixed with black; lines and wrinkles found their way to the side of his eyes. All in all, he exuberated a sense of wisdom that men his age would possess._

_Gray eyes made contact with blue. Calmness met wisdom._

"_Have you lived a fairy tale before?"_

"_A fairy tale?"_

"_Yes, the kind where the prince gets the princess and they lived happily ever after." The boy voice had a longing tone to it. "No negatives feelings, no declaration of disdain, and no other lovers."_

_Confusion seeped into those blue orbs. "I am afraid I have not, Atobe-bocchama." _

_A gentle smile graced the young boy's face. "Robert, I am living one now."_

"_But Atobe-bocchama, fairy tales are not real."_

_The young master looked out the window towards a figure squatting near the flower beds; a hand was reaching out to nib the flowers from their stalks._

_He turned back to face the other, a melancholic smile on his face._

"_I know."_

_His fingers traced the page he just read, "Do you know what a bookmark does?"_

"_I am afraid I do not, Atobe-bocchama."_

"_A bookmark is there to mark a page of a book to file it away because we do not want the story to end. For when it does, the feelings that come with reading the book would disappear along with it." A sigh laced with sadness left his mouth. "Likewise, I don't want this part of our lives to end."_

_Even if it was never meant to happen in the first place._

"_But it will reach an end someday."_

"_I know, Robert, I know."_

"_Then why do you still do it, Atobe-bocchama?" The butler questioned, mixed emotions accompanied his words, "Why place yourself in a situation where you will end up hurting more than before? ...You know that once Ryoma-sama remembers the past, he would forget everything you two have been through. You two would return to being strangers." _

_A silent plea came from the man to stop the madness._

"_Is it really worth it?" _

"_It is funny, Robert, how we are modeled after the image of God, yet we share none of the benevolent he possesses."_

_The man blinked as he tried to process the words of the young master._

_"God loves all, but us humans can only love a single person." The boy seemed to be on the verge of breaking down. "It is like how Adam loved Eve, and only Eve." _

_He hid his eyes behind his eyelids, plunging his world into darkness._

"_If I have to choose between letting him go and keeping him by my side," he took a deep breath, slowly opening his eyes, "I would keep him by my side for as long as it takes."_

_His voice cracked._

"_Even if in the end, I would be the only one remembering… So it would all be worth it." He breathed in deeply, trying to calm his emotions._

"_For at least I know, buried deep within his heart, he had once loved me."_

_Robert seemed to have finally understood why the young master was so determined to keep Ryoma by his side._

"_Though it would hurt me greatly," a solitary tear found its way down his cheek, hanging dangerously at the jaw line, "that would be enough for me."_

_It was a shot at forbidden love_

"I didn't want to lose him, nor do I want to lose him now."

A fist collided painfully against my cheek, making me stagger a few steps to the side. I brought up a hand to touch the stinging sensation on my face.

"You are selfish, Atobe, for you kept him away from us."

Each word hit me like a ton of bricks, harder and harder.

"For what purpose, Atobe?"

I clutched my shirt tightly. He had long let go of me.

"A shot at love that never belonged to you?"

"_For at least I know, buried deep within his heart, he once loved me."_

"Did you know how much pain you caused me!?"

I kept my eyes trained to the floor, refusing to meet his.

"I will not let you get near him anymore."

I snapped my eyes up and stared right into those hazel orbs blazing with determination.

"I will make him remember everything; I will make him forget all those lies you fed him."

His words stabbed my heart like a million swords.

My arms fell limply to the sides.

Taking steps closer towards me, he whispered into my ear, "Then I will make you pay for all the pain you have caused me."

With that, he turned and left, never once looking back.

My back slid down the wall towards the base.

I brought my knees up to my chest, and encircled my arms around them, burying my head within.

'_I knew it would hurt…'_

I was sobbing quietly by now, tears dampening the material of my clothes.

'_But I never thought it would hurt this much.'_

I felt something cold and wet battering my entire body. Slow at first, before gradually increasing in intensity, pouring on me from head to toe. Suddenly, the sensation stopped. Looking up, all I could make out from my blurred vision is a figure hovering over me, an umbrella in one hand. I felt myself being pulled up from my position on the ground. The person placed a hand on my back, and pushed me forward gently, moving towards the direction of the gates.

* * *

"Atobe."

I turned towards the voice.

"Fuji."

"I'm glad that you're not sick," he replied, hiding his eyes behind eyelids. As always, the ever existent smile was pasted on his face.

I shifted my focus from him to the rest of the room. I've never been here before.

"Where am I?"

"You are in my house." He sat down in the seat before me, "It was raining and I found you on the ground, so I brought you here."

'_Wait, if he found me, then that would mean…'_

"You heard?"

A nod.

"Aren't you going to blame me too?" Turning away from him, my words came out as a whispered cry, "Like all the others."

Silence filled the room and I sighed. _'I knew it.'_

"No."

My head snapped up and I looked straight at him. He was still smiling, but the smile was somewhat off.

It looked forced.

"Why?" I asked incredulously.

"Do you love Echizen?" He returned my question with another.

"I love him more than the world. More than I love myself."

"Cliché, Atobe," I frowned at his choice of words, "But who am I to judge?"

'_What?'_

He stood up. My eyes followed his movement as he moved across the room.

"I love someone too," he started, turning towards me, "Someone who loves another."

'_He is like me.'_

"His lover disappeared two years ago and he was devastated," he continued as he walked towards me, hand clutching a photo frame.

"He searched all day and night, but to no avail. At times, he would get himself drunk to forget the pain, and I would always be there to bring him home." Sitting down in his previous position, he held the frame close to his chest like it was something delicate. "In his drunken stupor, he never once 'saw' me, always calling me by the name of his lover." Tears were forming by the side of his eyes. "But I am fine with it as long as I can be at his side."

'_It must be hard for him to have to talk about his experience.'_

"When he asked me to be his boyfriend, I was elated," Tears were starting to stream down his cheeks, "I thought he had finally gotten over his lover."

"But I was wrong, he never did," His voice cracked, "To him I was only a substitute for the one he truly loves."

He held the photo frame towards me and I took it with shaking hands.

'_Who is this person?'_

I turned the frame over and my breath hitched. The frame held the photo of two boys.

One was smiling close-eyed at the camera, arms hanging over the other's shoulder.

The other stood upright with his arms folded across his chest in a commanding position, lips curling up slightly in a smile.

"I am fine with it," he sniffed, "For I love him too much."

I placed the photo frame carefully on the table, lest of damaging it. It held too many important memories.

"Now that his lover has returned, I know I have to let him go back to his lover. But… but," he sniffed, "I can't bring myself to do it."

I brought him into a hug. His cries filled the room.

'_We are both the same.'_

"Am I being selfish, Atobe?" he whimpered from his position against my chest.

"Fuji," my fingers traced circles on his back, "sometimes being selfish is the only way to keep the things dear to us."

'_I have been doing that for the past two years.'_

_"Us humans can only love a single person…It is like how Adam loved Eve, and only Eve."_

I turned my attention to the forgotten frame on the table.

'_And like how Fuji loves Tezuka.'_

"What if Echizen remembers everything?" I turned back towards the figure in my arms.

"_I will make him remember everything; I will make him forget all those lies you fed him."_

"I can't stop Tezuka," I started quietly, "but before that happens…" I trailed off.

_We are like Cinderella; living a fantasy _

_When the magic disappears_

_Strangers once again we will be_

_  
But for this one last moment, please let me enjoy_

_The touch of you in my hands._

"And when it does happen…"

I smiled a bitterly.

'_I would be doing the same thing I did all this time.'_

"I will watch over him forever."

"_Even if in the end, I would be the only one remembering…So it would all be worth it."_

* * *

A/N: I am putting my stories on hold for there are too many things happening to me now, so much that I can't find the time to update. I know I am not the most forthcoming person in terms of replying to reviews, but please do review. Reviews motivate me to continue writing. : ) 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own the Prince of tennis.

Thanks for all the reviews. I really appreciate them : )

Special thanks to **Sweet Obsidian Rain **for beta-ing this story.

* * *

'_Everyone deserved to be selfish, even a king.'_

* * *

**Momoshiro's POV**

"Stupid rain," I cursed as I swapped droplets of rain off my coat. "Don't you think so, Echizen?"

My question was met with silence.

"Echizen?"

I turned towards the boy; he was fidgeting nervously, hands clamped before him, thumbs piling over the other in a way that I now called "Echizen Nervous Action".

"Momo-senpai," his voice was so soft that if it wasn't for the movement of his mouth, I would not have realized that he had talked, "do you hate Keigo?"

I blinked, his question catching me off guard.

_Hate Atobe?_

_True, I hardly see eye to eye with that person and his domination tactics irked me to no end, but to say that I hate him, that is kind of pushing it. It was more like…_

"I dislike him." His shoulders slumped at my reply, a sigh left his lips.

"Why?"

"Well," I cocked my head to the side; my fingers were drumming against my jaw, "for starters, he did try to keep you away from us."

_I will never forgive him for that, ever._

"And," I continued, "he does have an inflated ego with his ore-sama speech here and ore-sama speech there."

"Lastly," I looked at him straight in the eye, trying to convey all my dislike for the man, "he tried to take you away from Tezuka-buchou."

"Take… me… away from… Tezuka-buchou?" he stumbled, confusion written all over his face, "But that is impossible, I do not like buchou that way at all."

"You've got to be kidding me!" I exclaimed, hands waving in the air to emphasize my point, "You two were practically glued to the hip for about a year. How could you say you don't love him?"

"But I…" he started nervously.

"Even if you did lose your memories, the feelings have to be there," I interrupted, narrowing my eyes at the boy before me who was close to breaking down in tears, "Isn't that why you returned? To try to remember your time here with Tezuka-buchou?"

"No, I…"

"Besides," I continued, "if you do remember the past, you would forget everything you had with Atobe, everything would return back to normal."

_Tezuka-buchou would be with you. He would be happy again. _

Echizen stood there, face drained of all colour, and eyes levelled opened. His mouth was wide open, gapping like a fish without water.

"Forget… Keigo?" he stuttered, taking a few steps back.

I regarded his expression with confusion, perplexed by his reaction, "Yes, isn't this what you wanted all along? This is why you returned here for, right?"

Fear clouded those misty golden eyes.

"Echizen?" His reaction was starting to scare me. Moving a few steps forward, I tried to approach him. My hands clamped over his trembling form before he yanked it away and bolted off.

"Oi Echizen!" I called at his shrinking form, "where are you going!?"

Vibrations from my back pocket stopped my attempts to follow him. Pulling the wretched device out, _the person sure chose a bad time to call_, I yelled into the receiver, "What!?"

I reached up and rubbed my temple in small circles. I could feel a migraine coming.

"_Momoshiro."_

_That voice. That serious, no nonsense tone that made muscles tense in trepidation…_

_It could only belong to one person._

_I gulped, feeling my death pending near. I couldn't believe I just yelled at him._

"Tezuka-buchou."

"_Where are you now?"_

I released the breath that I held minutes before, truly relieved that he did not order me to run laps.

"Err…" Glancing around, I tried to find anything that I could describe to Tezuka-buchou. "I am now somewhere near McDonalds."

"_Ok, I am coming to find you two now."_

"But Echizen is not with me."

"_What?"_ Tezuka buchou's voice rose by a notch, _"Where is he?"_

"He ran off a while ago." I limited my words. _Tezuka-buchou did entrust Echizen to me, I don't think he would appreciate knowing about the talk we just had, even if it was for his sake._

"_Never mind, I'll find him. Thanks, Momoshiro." _

With that, he hung up, the dial tone replacing his voice.

_What was that for?_

* * *

**Ryoma's POV**

I ran. My feet were pounding hard against the pavement; my pulse was slamming in my ears. I ran, and ran, and ran— all the way down the street.

"_If you do remember the past, you would forget everything you had with Atobe."_

_Is this true? _

That dejected face he wore, those grey eyes silently pleading that I do not ask any further…

It finally made sense why Keigo always acted so strange whenever I asked about my past.

_Is that what Keigo thought? That I would forget him? That I wanted to forget him?_

_How could I have been so clueless to his feelings?_

"_Isn't that what you wanted?"_

I fervently wiped away the tears that were starting to burn my eyes.

_No._

_I did not want to forget Keigo._

_It was never my intention._

_I had everything. A closely knitted family, a wonderful home, friends, Keigo._

_I should've been happy, but I was not. _

_There was always something missing; it felt like an empty void that refused to be filled. It was only until recently when the dreams, or should I say memories, surfaced did I know what that missing piece of the puzzle was._

_It was my past. _

_I wanted to know about my past._

_Then would everything be perfect._

_It was that simple. _

_I never once thought that doing so would make me forget Keigo._

The tears did not stop flowing as I turned around a corner.

_If remembering will make me forget about Keigo,_

_Then I don't want to remember anymore._

* * *

**Atobe's POV**

After calming a near to hysterics Fuji, I quietly, close to tip-toeing, made my leave. Fuji's house, as I came to observe was near the road.

_How convenient. Won't take long for my limo to arrive. _

"_I would watch over him forever."_

My fingers froze in mid action from dialling the familiar number. Casting a look at the grey skies above, the rain clouds parted, allowing traces of light to bask on my face, showering me with warmth I so desperately craved.

_Though I said so, I really hope that such a day will not come._

_I might not be able to hold onto my sanity, seeing him belong to another. _

Suddenly, I felt myself thrown to the side when someone collided hard against me. The impact sent us falling. My elbows knocked hard against the pavement, sending jolts of pain up my limb.

"Sorry," a muffled sob accompanied the apology.

_That voice registered in my mind. It could only belong to one person._

Taking a good look at the person before me, a gasp left my throat.

_That familiar mop of black hair that I like to feel in my hands…_

"Ryoma?"

He raised his face. Tears streaked it

"Keigo?" he mumbled disbelievingly, blinking furiously, before bursting out in tears.

His arms encircled around my waist, crushing me in a hug.

Cries emitted from his shaking figure, tearing my heart apart in all directions.

"Don't cry, Ryoma," I soothed as I gently lifted his face, placing kisses where tears streamed down, "You know I hate to see you cry." I rocked him tenderly. "What happened?" I asked gently, cradling him in my arms. _Did Momoshiro bully my Ryoma?_

"Momo-senpai…remembers…forget…Keigo..." were the only words I could make out from his mumble.

My arms tightened around him.

_I knew it. That guy. I am going to kill him._

"I don't want to remember anymore." I blinked, trying to process his words. Previous thoughts of murdering Momoshiro fled from my mind at lightning speed.

"Could you repeat what you just said?"

He looked up. "I don't want to remember anymore."

_Even though I am not sure what triggered such a decision, my heart skipped. It was practically dancing. Maybe all those "I would look after him forever" stuff would not occur after all. _

"You don't have to," I whispered, staring at him in glee, making no attempt to hide the grin on my face, "We can return home and forget everything that has happened."

_Forget Seigaku. Forget the past. Forget Tezuka._

A nod was all that he gave, but it was enough.

I was contented to stay in this position forever, where we could only see each other, and the rest of the world did not matter. Utter bliss.

But alas, it was short-lived. Moments later, I found Ryoma pulled harshly out of my arms. A hand gripped my collar tightly, hoisting me up to eye level with the person.

My eyes met cold hazel orbs. _The eyes of the last person I want to see at this moment or any moment for that matter._

"Tezuka." His name rolled off my tongue like poison.

"I told you to stay away from him," he growled, "Which part of that do you not understand!?"

Clutching his arm tightly, Ryoma tried to break his hold over my shirt; pleas flew out of his mouth. "Please, Tezuka-buchou, let him go."

Tezuka ignored him, eyes burrowing hard into mine.

Not one to back done without a fight, I countered with a glare.

_I refuse to back down, definitely not after hearing Ryoma's conviction. _

_I will uphold to it._

"Ryoma is coming back with me." My words remained firm, resolve not once faltered by his gaze.

"You really are selfish," he sneered, "You already know that he does not belong with you, ever."

Images of Fuji crying his heart out for the person that would never reciprocate his feelings flashed through my mind.

"And you are not?" I retorted.

"What are you talking about?" His eyebrows furrowed, confusion laced his words.

_I have to take my hat off for him. How could someone this oblivious cause so much pain to the person who loved him the most?_

"Don't play dumb with me. Isn't Fuji just a substitute to you for Ryoma?" His eyes, hidden behind the lenses, widened at the question. Though slightly, almost unnoticed by the untrained eye, but was enough to justify that he was shocked at my question.

"Isn't he just someone you could abandon when the person you care about returned?"

My head snapped to the side as he swung his fist at me, said object collided painfully with my cheek. I stumbled back a few steps. A metallic, coppery taste filled my mouth, momentarily gagging me. Spitting the offensive liquid from my mouth, I wiped its traces off the side of my lips.

I stared at him hard, akin to a person staring at a convicted criminal.

With a look filled with anger, disgust and pity.

He was furious. Anger surging out from pores all over his body.

He lunged at me, hands aiming for my neck. "Don't you dare say that about Shusuke!"

"Am I not wrong to say that!?" I shouted, battling his hands away. "Once Ryoma returned, you've totally neglected Fuji, casting him aside like a doll." My eyes narrowed to slits. "How dare you accuse me of being selfish when you too are, you hypocrite!"

"Shut up," he roared, "You know nothing at all, so don't you say such nonsense!"

"I know nothing?" I scoffed, "Fuji told me everything, everything you did to him."

_The sudden refusal to talk to him beyond school related stuff._

_The sudden refusal to be seen close to him in proximity and in relation._

_The constant crowding around __**him**_

_The demotion from "lover" to friend in a day._

_It was slowly tearing Fuji apart._

One moment I was having a war of words with Tezuka, and the next I found myself pushed backwards.

I staggered a few steps back involuntarily

Onto the road.

Into the path of an approaching car.

My senses heightened as all things ran in slow motion.

The car's honk was deafening.

The woman behind the wheel was desperately stepping on the brakes; a look of shock and fear mirrored mine.

All of a sudden, as fast as it came, it all stopped, and I found myself on the ground, pain emitting from my body's contact point with the ground.

Around my elbows… _only my elbows!?_

_Wait. Wasn't I hit by a car? Shouldn't I feel immense, backbreaking pain all over my body?_

_Unless…?_

Looking around, I found myself off the path of the car, on the pavement.

Not an ounce of blood was found around me.

_Somebody had pushed me out of harm's way? _

_Who? Who could that be?_

Looking back at the crash site, my heart stopped, and fear grappled my entire body.

There, lying meters from the car was a body. His body.

Oh God.

Picking myself up, I ran towards it, a cry tearing from my throat.

Scooping his prone body into my arms, I placed a hand over the head wound. Warm scarlet liquid flowed through the cracks between my fingers, running down my hand, meeting the ground in droplets. The smell of blood started to fill the scene as more droplets hit the ground.

From my position, I could see his eyes starting to dull.

I buried my face into the fabric of his shirt, now soaked with his blood.

_Somebody?_

His breathing shallowed.

_Anybody?_

His frantic heart rate slowed.

_Please Help…_

_Call the ambulance._

"Call the ambulance!" I screamed at the driver. With a squeak, she pulled out her phone, fumbling it a few times before calling for help.

Her conversation did not interest me; my attention remained on the figure in my arms, whose life was slowly draining away as the liquid that held it flowed from his body. Helplessness and desperation ensnared me.

"K….Ki……" he continued to make those sounds.

"It's ok," I comforted, holding his head close to the side of my neck, listening to his breath leaving in small gasps. Tears were choking me, "I am here."

_I will not let you die, Ryoma. _

* * *

**Atobe's POV**

"Here, Atobe."

My eyes traced from the confines of my hands to Fuji's non-smiling face to the Styrofoam cup in his hand. Steam was pouring from the top of the cup.

"Thanks," I mumbled, accepting the hot drink from Fuji. Taking a sip, the liquid burned my taste buds, scalding my tongue, but did nothing to ease the sinking cold feeling swirling within me.

_Did I make it in time?_

The waiting room only had nine occupants, including me, but the very atmosphere in this place was whisked into a nerve-racking urgency of everyone's collective anxiety.

Oishi, Momoshiro and Kikumaru were pacing about the room, eyes never leaving the sign above the operating theatre.

Inui was sitting in one of the corner seats, accompanied silently by Kawamura.

Tezuka was sitting seats away from Fuji and me, head buried within his hands. His shoulders were trembling slightly.

And Kaidoh was…chanting?

A squeeze on my knee brought my attention back to the person beside me.

"Fuji?"

"He is going to be ok," he comforted, giving me a slight smile.

"I know." Turning my sight towards the cup within my hand, I observed my distorted reflection in the stagnant fluid. I just couldn't bring myself to smile back at Fuji.

_Why do I feel like something will happen?_

Two hours later, my drink had turned cold, but the door to the operating theatre remained shut.

Another feeling wormed its way into my stomach, twisting itself into knots.

Fear.

_Why is it taking so long? _

Moments later, the doors to the theatre finally opened and a man walked out. Locks of black hair once hidden by the cap on his face fell across his forehead. It was glistering with sweat, evidence of the duration of the operation.

"Are any of you here his family members?" his voice was deep, face solemn.

Fear amplified itself within me.

"His parents moved back to America three years ago," one of the Seigaku regulars answered, but I was not paying attention to who said it. _I only want to know what happened to my Ryoma._

"How is he?" I found myself saying.

"The operation was a success, his condition has stabilized."

Cheers erupted throughout the room, but I did not join it.

_Years of looking into people's expressions told me._

_Something was amiss, if it were all good news, shouldn't he be smiling? Why the serious face? Even the most stoic of persons, Tezuka, had once displayed emotions. _

_Unless….?_

"Is there something wrong?"

The doctor turned towards me before looking at the others, "Has such a similar accident happened before?"

Everyone's eyes were on me.

"Yes, but why?"

"We found traces of a blood clot in the blood vessel leading towards the hippocampus," he started, "Most likely attributed to an incident similar to this."

"What does this mean, doctor?" I pushed, desperate now.

"Did Echizen-kun suffer from some form of memory loss prior to this incident?" he asked.

Everyone in the room nodded. He smiled slightly as our reactions seemed to affirm his theory.

"The most probable cause of his memory loss would be the blood clot blocking or limiting access of oxygen to the hippocampus," he paused, "Now that the clot is gone, the blood vessel is once again able to pump blood smoothly to this region of the brain. There is a high possibility that whatever memory he had lost could be able to return back to him."

The silence in the room was shattered by the sound of a cup plummeting onto the floor.

* * *

A/N: Please read and review. 


End file.
